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Just because someone has consented to using a butt plug, it doesn’t mean they’re also consenting to anal sex. Ongoing consent and communication are important when it comes to ensuring that everyone feels safe and empowered during every step of sexual activities. Unlike many other sexual toys, such as dildos, a butt plug is meant to remain in place during sexual play. Additionally, there are buzzing and nonbuzzing dildos — penis-shaped objects that can be inserted inside a woman’s vagina.

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It’s large, yes, but lightweight compared to other body massagers on the market today. Other clitoral stimulators Melissa recommends include the Lelo Sona Sonic and Clitoral Suction Toy to avoid penetration but still experience pleasure. “If penetration has become painful, these are a great way to slowly and gently reintroduce penetration into your sex life at your own pace,” Melissa says of this three-piece dilator set. Redefining pleasure in midlife can require a little homework, Melissa says, adding she often tasks her clients with a short quiz to help them explore what they desire now. “I have worked with women who are in their late 50s who are having the best sex of their lives because we worked on their mindset first and foremost – we know the mind affects the body so we start there,” Melissa says.

Sharing sex toys with other people can spread STDs — if someone who has an STD uses a sex toy, the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the next person who uses that toy. So if you’re using a sex toy with a partner, it’s important to take steps to help prevent STDs. Toy cleaners are specially made to clean sex toys without damaging the material. Most sex toy cleaners are made of deionized water and gentle surfactants, while some may have anti-fungal and bacteria elements and mild fragrances. The words above – Clean, Disinfect, Sanitize, and Sterilize – are all used interchangeably by those who don’t work in medical/health, scientific, or food service industries.

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“These are also great to give to your partner when they’re going down on you and interchange between tongue and toy,” she adds. “The clitoris is a very sensitive and pleasurable zone, so if you are dealing with vaginal discomfort, try a clitoral stimulator,” Melissa says. “That air movement creates a pulsing feeling, encouraging blood flow into the area and helping you to become more sensitive,” Emma says. “They absorb the impact of ‘bumping’ together without reducing the pleasure for him.

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